Imfundo ngothando: izincwadi ezingcono kakhulu zokukhulisa izingane

Kunezinkulumo ezikhulayo eziphathelene nokuba umzali onenhlonipho, indlela izimfundiso zabazali ezithonya ngayo ukukhula kwengqondo nengokomzwelo yezingane zabo esikhathini esizayo, kanye nezinzuzo ezimbalwa ezitholakala emikhubeni yokubuyisela emuva enjengokujezisa—kungaba ngokomzimba noma ukuvinjelwa izinto noma imisebenzi. Ngesihloko esisemfashinini, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo nabazali abanolwazi babhale izincwadi ezithakazelisayo.

Eminye yale mibhalo ihloselwe ukufunda kwengqondo yezingane ukuze kusekelwe abazali. Ezinye zidalwe abanakekeli abaye badlula ezinqubweni eziye zabakhuthaza ukuba bakhe iziqondiso ezisebenzayo zokubhekana nezinkinga ezifana nezigaba ezahlukene zokukhula kwezinsana, kanye nezikhathi zabo ezisengozini. Lezi yizincwadi ezingcono kakhulu zokukhulisa izingane.

Izincwadi eziyi-13 ezikhuluma ngenhlonipho nokuba ngubaba

1.     Ukuba ngumzali okunamathiselwe okuvikelekile, nguLaura Estremera

Le ncwadi iqala ngesisekelo sokuthi ukuba umzali kuyinselele. Ngayo, umbhali uyahlinzeka isiqondiso esiwusizo sokusiza abazali bakhe ubuhlobo obungcono nezingane zabo. Imibuzo enjengokuthi: "Ngingayiqonda kanjani into afuna ukungitshela yona lapho engakakwazi ukukhuluma nayo?" Noma kuyinto evamile ukuthi ingane yami ingafuni ukudlala nezinye izingane epaki?

Izingcaphuno ezivela kuLaura Estremera

• "Isibopho sokunamathiselwe sithinta ubudlelwano babo, ukuzimela kwabo kanye nendlela abazibona ngayo."
• "Ukuzimela akuyona into efundiswayo noma ephoqelelwe, kodwa into ehlonishwayo, inesikhathi sayo futhi idinga ukuvuthwa."

2.     Ubuhlakani bomzwelo ezinganeni nasebancane: izivivinyo zokuhlakulela amandla angaphakathi, nguLinda Lantieri noDaniel Goleman

Le yincwadi ekhuluma ngesayikholoji yezingane egxile ekukhuthazeni ubuhlakani bomzwelo. Lokhu Isetshenziswa njengethuluzi lokukhulisa izingane ezikwazi ukusebenzisa izinsiza eziningi zokuxhumana.. Ivolumu ihlanganisa nomhlahlandlela osebenzayo kanye ne-CD yomsindo elandiswa ngu-Elsa Punset, okwenza isifundo siphelele kakhulu.

Izingcaphuno zikaLinda Lantieri

• “Impumelelo ayilinganiswa ngalokho okuzuzile, kodwa kulinganiswa ngendlela obhekane ngayo nezinselelo.
• «Labo abafundisa izingane Kumelwe bakhumbule ukubaluleka kokondla ukuphila kwabo kwangaphakathi.

3.     Ukuba umzali okungaphelele, nguPaola Roig

Abazali kungenzeka ukuthi bonke babecabanga ukuthi abawenzi kahle umsebenzi wabo, kodwa lesi sihloko sibonisa izinkolelo ezithile ezinomkhawulo mayelana nokuba umzali, ukuba umama nokuba ubaba. Umbhali ugxile kulokho athanda ukukubiza ngokuthi "omama abayinkulungwane," kanye nendlela yokweseka izingane kanye nabanakekeli ukuze wonke umuntu abe nolwazi olunempilo.

Izingcaphuno ezivela kuPaola Roig

• "Kulula kakhulu ukwahlulela ngaphambi kokuba umama."
• “Ngicabanga ukuthi imindeni kanye nomama kumele bakubone ukuthi ngeke sikwazi ukukwenza sisodwa. Lokho kukhulisa izingane kuhloswe ukuthi kuhlale emphakathini."

4.     Amadada amabi: ukuqina. Ukukhula okungajabulisi akunqumi ukuphila, nguCyrulnik, Boris

Isazi sezinzwa saseFrance esaziwayo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, i-psychoanalyst kanye ne-ethologist sihamba phambili kwisayensi yenjabulo. Lapho ngineminyaka eyisithupha ubudala weqa ekamu lokuhlushwa lapho umndeni wakhe, abafuduki abangamaJuda baseRussia, abakwazanga ukubuya. Kusuka lapho, Wayethuthukisa umqondo ophawuleka kakhulu mayelana nokuqina, ikhono eliqiniswa izibopho ezingokomzwelo.

Izingcaphuno zika-Boris Cyrulnik

• "Ungakhohlwa noma usebenzise: ukuphela kwendlela yokuqhubekela phambili ukuqonda."
• "Ukutshela kuwukuzibeka engozini."
• "Ngemicu yezinto eziphilayo, ezingokomzwelo, ezengqondo nezenhlalo, sichitha izimpilo zethu sizihlanganisa ndawonye."

5.     Ubuciko bokukhuluma nezingane, nguRebecca Rolland

Ngokusho kombhali, Indlela engcono kakhulu yokukhulisa izingane ezijabule ukukhuluma nazo kakhulu, kodwa ukwenza kanjani lokhu kwenzeke? Ngisho noma izingxoxo nezingane zivame ukuba mfushane futhi ziyindlela eyodwa, kubalulekile ukuqala inkhulumomphendvulwano. Lokhu akugcini nje ngokuthuthukisa isibopho, kodwa futhi nokuqonda kwabo umhlaba. Ukwenza lokhu, umbhali unikeza amathuluzi kanye nomhlahlandlela osebenzayo.

Izingcaphuno zikaRebecca Rolland

• "Ukulalela okusebenzayo kuyisisekelo sakho konke ukuxhumana kwethu nezingane."
• "Kumele siqaphele ukuthi zonke izingane zihlukile. Singaba nezingane ezinamahloni kakhulu kubantu abasha kanti kukhona nezinye izingane ezingenawo nhlobo amahloni, kodwa okufanele sikutshele izingane ukuthi akumele zingene ekumodeleni.

6.     Ingqondo yengane, nguDaniel J. Siegel, uTina Payne Bryson

Ababhali, i-neuropsychiatrist kanye nochwepheshe wokukhulisa izingane, bahlinzeka ngohambo oluhehayo oluya ebuchosheni bengane. Umbhalo, naphezu kokuqukethwe kwawo, umnandi futhi kulula ukuwufunda., kanye nokunikeza amasu awusizo okuthuthukisa ukukhula kwengqondo nemizwa yezingane. Ukwengeza, imifanekiso yayo yenza kube lula ukufundisa imiqondo eyinkimbinkimbi ezinganeni.

Izingcaphuno zikaDaniel J. Siegel

• "Ingqondo egcwele yamukela ngaphandle kokwahlulela ukuthi yini."
• "Umqondo ovulekile futhi onelukuluku ungaguqula iqiniso."

7.     Ingane efunwa kakhulu, ngu-Ursula Perona

Umbhali uyakuqonda ukuthi ukuba ngumzali wengane akulula, ikakhulukazi uma lena kuyingane edingeka kakhulu.. Ngokuvamile, lezi zingane zizwela kakhulu ezintweni ezishukumisayo, zihlale zicasuka, futhi zibonisa ukunamathela okuqinile kokukhathazeka kumnakekeli wazo. Ngakho-ke, umbhali ubonisa indlela yokuphatha konke ukungabaza okuvela ngesikhathi sokuqala, okungukuthi: kusukela ku-0 kuya ku-3 iminyaka.

Amagama ka-Ursula Perona

• "Ukuba umzali sekuyinto ecindezelayo, okusibangela ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka."
• “Ingane ngayinye iyisidalwa esizimele, esize lapha ukuze silandele uhambo lwaso, sifunde ezakhe izinto, sibe nesakhe esidlule kukho, kwesinye isikhathi singanakile, esikhundleni sokusiza kulolu hlelo, esikwenzayo siwunciphisa, siwuvimbe.

8.     Umngane Wami Idlozi Lomdlalo, nguRosi Baradat

Indaba ikhuluma ngendaba kamama owathi, ngemva kokufeza iphupho lakhe lokuba nomndeni, ubanjwa oqotsheni, lapho ama-oda nokuxhamazela kuthathe indawo yokuhleka. Ukulangazelela kwakhe ukuphinde axhumane nezingane zakhe kuvusa umlingo we-Elf of Games, okuthi, lapho ezwa ucingo lwakhe, aklame indlela yokubuyisela injabulo ekhaya.

Ngesikhashana esingalindelekile sokuzenzakalela, Owesifazane uthola kabusha amandla okudlala nokuhleka, aguqule amandla omndeni. Okuqala njengento elula kuba isiko elihlala izizukulwane ngezizukulwane.

Izingcaphuno ezivela kuMngane wami i-Game Elf

• "Ngiyazi mhlawumbe ucabanga ukuthi kukhona okungalungile okwenzile, futhi iqiniso ukuthi kukhona okubi kakhulu esikwenzayo, asisabi njengakuqala."
• "Yebo, yebo, njengoba uzwa, ungangibuzi ukuthi kungani, kodwa ngizwe ukuthi lo mlayezo ufika kimi, kufana nengxenye yami exhunywe nomlingo futhi."

9.     Indlela yokunqoba ukwesaba nokukhathazeka, nguJames J. Crist

Le ncwadi ihloselwe kokubili izingane kanye nabantu abadala, futhi isivumela ukuba siqonde futhi silinganisele endaweni yonke yokwesaba. Ikhuluma ngazo zonke izinkathazo, ukwesaba, izinkathazo nezinkathazo ezingavela engqondweni yengane. Kusukela ebumnyameni kuya ekubeni nesizungu, ama-clowns, noma ngisho nokuhlukaniswa nabanakekeli, Udokotela unikeza abancane izincazelo ezilula ukuze bazi ukuthi kufanele benze kanjani.

10.  Dlala: Khulani futhi nifunde ngokudlala njengomndeni, ngu-Imma Marín Santiago

Lo akuyena umbhali wokuqala ukukhuluma ngokubaluleka kokudlala ebuntwaneni, njengoba izingane zifunda ukuqonda umhlaba ngawo. Ukubaluleka kwayo ekuthuthukisweni kufana nokuthi kuyilungelo elavunywa yiNgqungquthela Yamazwe Ngamazwe Ngamalungelo Engane ngo-1989. Ngalo mqondo, U-Santiago uchaza ukuthi hlobo luni lwemidlalo ongalunikeza nokuthi ungazenza kanjani lezi zikhathi nezingane.

Izingcaphuno ezivela ku-Imma Marín Santiago

• "Ukufunda ngokudlala kungashintsha imfundo."
• "Isikole esavela ekupheleni kwekhulu le-19, esihlelelwe ukufundisa ukufunda nokubhala futhi sigxile ezidingweni zokuthuthuka kwezimboni, sinikeze konke esingakunikeza."

11.  Indlela yokukhuluma ukuze izingane zakho zilalele nokuthi zilalela kanjani ukuze izingane zakho zikhulume, ngu-Adele Faber no-Elaine Mazlish

Nakuba yashicilelwa ngawo-90s, Le ncwadi ihlala iwumgogodla wabazali abaningi kanye nezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zezingane.. Inikeza amathuluzi amaningana ayisisekelo okufunda ukulawula imizwa, kanye namasu okuxazulula izingxabano, ukubeka imikhawulo, kanye nendlela yokusebenzisa amaqhinga anenhlonipho nasebenza ngempumelelo kunokujezisa (noma ngabe yikuphi).

Izingcaphuno zika-Adele Faber

• "Inhloso yesiyalo akukhona ukulawula noma ukujezisa, kodwa ukufundisa izingane ukuthi ziziphathe kanjani ngendlela efanele."
• “Isiyalo esisebenzayo yileso esifundisa izingane ukuthi zizicabangele, zenze izinqumo ezinolwazi, futhi ziziphendulele ngezenzo zazo.”

12.  Ingqondo yengane ichaze abazalingu-Alvaro Bilbao

Okuthakazelisayo ngale ncwadi ukuthi isiza ukuchazela abazali ukuthi ubuchopho bezingane zabo busebenza kanjani, nokuthi kungani benza ngandlela thize. Ngokungeziwe ekuhlanganiseni amathrendi akamuva ku-neuroscience, amathuluzi ombhalo ayisiqalo sabanakekeli abanomthwalo wemfanelo abafuna ukuthuthukisa indlela yabo yokuba ngumzali.

Izingcaphuno ezivela ku-Alvaro Bilbao

• "Ungamzwisi ubuhlungu ngenxa yokukhala kwakhe ngoba uzomfundisa ukuthi ukukhungatheka kuyamcindezela ngempela. "Mnakekele ngokushesha, kodwa ngakho konke ukuzola nokuzethemba okubangelwa ukwazi ukuthi ingane yakho ingakwazi ukubhekana nokukhungatheka okuncane."
• “Hlakulela ukubonakaliswa kothando ngokubaqabula nokubagona njalo lapho ubashiya esikoleni noma uphuma endlini uya emsebenzini. Cabanga ngalezi zenzo ezincane njengezitini ezizokwakha isigodlo sobudlelwano benu esikhathini esizayo.

13.  Makube ngabantwana, nguLaura Estremera

Lapho abanakekeli ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso befika ezingeni elifanayo nelezingane, intuthuko emangalisayo ingabonakala ebuhlotsheni. kanye nokuziphatha kwezingane ngezikhulu zazo kanye nomhlaba wonke. Izingane azidingi nje kuphela ukunakekelwa ngokomzimba, zidinga nokulalela ngenkuthalo ukuze zithuthukise wonke amakhono azo, ongqondongqondo nangokomzwelo.